She didn’t notice it at first. No, not really.

She called it confusion. Bad timing. Even blamed the stars for not being aligned, and created stories to cushion its impact so it wouldn’t sting as much.

When he showed up, he showed up just enough—texting late, calling when it suited him, ghosting then slipping back in like nothing changed, a dismissal of the shift. And every time, she let him.

Because part of her believed that inconsistency meant he was figuring things out.

It took longer than she’d like to admit to see it clearly: there was nothing to figure out; he wasn’t undecided.

He had a long time ago decided.

He just hadn’t said it out loud.

His silence did the work for him, though.

His distance spoke.

His patterns repeated.

He kept the door open, not to walk through it fully, but to make sure it stayed unlocked—for him.

Access without accountability.

And she had been handing him the key, over and over, no questions asked.

One night, sitting with that truth, she asked herself something she could no longer avoid:

Jersey, are you really going to keep giving access to someone who isn’t choosing you?

The question landed heavier than anything he had ever said.

Because this time, it wasn’t about him.

It was about what she was allowing.

And for the first time, she understood—he could only stay as long as she kept the door open.

Afterword: I haven’t done an R&B collab in a while. This song, “Trust My Lonely”, by Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara, was the nudge that brought me back. A shorter version, using the Cameo form, was published earlier.

Lyrics

It’s time I let you go
I made the mistake go writing your name on my heart
‘Cause your colours showed
But it was too late, you left me stained, called it art

Do you crave control?
I’ve been your doll, that you poke for fun too long
So you should go
Don’t look back, I won’t come back
Can’t do that no more

Go get your praise from someone else
You did a number on my health
My world is brighter by itself
And I can do better, do better
You and I were swayin’ on the ropes
I found my footing my own
I’m a-okay, I’m good as gold
And I can do better, do better alone
Alone, alone

There ain’t no love ’round here
I loved you once, but it made me dumb
Now I’m seeing it way too clear
You hurt me numb, and for that I’ve run out of time
To have pain to feel (Pain to feel)
I’ve been your game
Just taking the blame for too long
Get on out of here
Don’t look back, I won’t come back
Can’t do that no more

Don’t you know that you’re bad for me?
I gotta trust my lonely …

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In creative solidarity, Dee